A Secret Love

In honor of Valentine’s Day I thought I would let you in on a secret love of mine. It’s been going on for a while. Just eight years in March. I was reluctant at first. But that is true of a lot of what you love isn’t it? Resistance to the very thing your heart is yearning to open to.

I didn’t really like the way my love looked at first. Too retro. And cheap. How could I really love something that was so cheap?

But I pushed past. With some effort I listened to my heart. I followed the direction of Sonia Pilcer. She was teaching the class I was taking at the Writer’s Voice at the West Side Y. She told me I needed a notebook. Not a fancy leather bound journal type of notebook and definitely not anything with a spiral. That would be too easy to tear out pages and throw them away. The simple kind. The one you had in the first grade that you learned to write the alphabet in. The kind with the black and white marble cover that said Composition.

It was in my first Composition book I owned since elementary school that I created the character of Elena who became the protagonist for my first novel. I filled two more when I wrote the Seduction of Darlene. I have another pair of new blank ones sitting on my desk right now for projects I just got the ideas for. Each fresh white page is ready for me to fill with my notes, snippets of sentences and scenes, or the visage of a new character. I’ve come to love the retro feel of it. It reminds me of the excitement and anticipation a clean empty page brought me as a kid, instead of the fear it can sometimes elicit as an adult writer.

Yes, on Valentine’s Day 2010 I confess to my secret love. I sit amongst piles of them now. Some full, others with much left to write. My silly little Marble Composition books that cost no more than two bucks are always my first sign of commitment to an idea I have. They are also my reminder that you are never really sure where you might find love. It can surprise you.