Giving Birth

Writing a book is alot like giving birth. I say that never having had children. But I believe it. It is a creation. There is a process to it. The germination of an idea that requires patience and nourishment. It can’t be rushed. It knows its own time. If you force it out before it is ready there are going to be problems.

I was in a conversation yesterday about birth. I was having a rainy Friday afternoon lunch on the Upper West Side with a young mother of three who is about to launch a blog and coaching business around the idea of making pregnancy and birthing more pleasurable. We talked a lot about birth.

In her research she consulted with the brilliant Dr. Christiane Northrup. Dr. Northrup told her two things that I have not been able to get out of my head since. That has me up at 4:30AM this morning writing.

The first is that the way we give birth is the way we live our lives. Or is it the way we live our lives is the way we give birth. No matter. I’m still digesting that one.

The second is that the thing that makes pregnancy and delivery difficult for most women is fear.

Fear. I was afraid of that.

Fear, the great obstacle to overcome. How we choose to push past those fears, if we choose to, is how the process will unfold. I’ve been very fearful this week. It happens. There is no birth, no reinvention of any sort without that occurring. I know that when my fears set in I tend to push against them.

Again, I’ve never given physical birth. I’m not the expert. Dr. Northrup and my lunch companion are. But I know enough to understand there is a difference between pushing against and pushing through.

I also know that the only way to push past and through my fears is to surrender and not try and fight them. It sounds easier than it is. But I have a secret that I’m told they use in delivery rooms. Breathe. Really breathe. It makes the process, whatever you are birthing easier.