This week I was discussing the attributes that apply to the personality profile of a design thinker in one of my NYU classes. When I got to optimistic I found myself taking a long pause. Here I was standing in front of a room of the best and the brightest of our future leaders. I want them to share the optimistic outlook on life I have always prided myself on having. Yet these past weeks of the new presidency, each day I find myself struggling with optimism, waking up wondering what fresh new hell the Trump administration will bestow upon the world before I have had a sip of my morning coffee.
I find myself angry at the people who voted him in, angry at those who voted for a third-party candidate who had no chance of winning, and angry at those who chose to throw away their vote because they’re under the illusion their vote doesn’t count. I’m angry at the Republicans who are clicking their heels and lining up in formation behind every ludicrous executive order that comes out of the White House and angry at the Democrats for not fighting back hard enough.
Anger is not a familiar emotion for me. That’s not to say I’ve never been angry. Of course, I have. But my anger has been short-lived and fleeting. A moment of anger at the person not moving fast enough up the subway stairs because they’re in the middle of a game of Candy Crush on their phones. An angry tirade with the AI chatbot that greets me before I get to a human to make a doctor’s appointment. It’s mild anger and it vanishes quickly. Anger has never been something I have had to manage. Until now.
I know I am not alone. I know I have choices. I can stick my head in the sand and pretend there is nothing I can do to stop the dismantling of democracy. I can let my anger exhaust me – which is the goal of the current administration. Or I can dig into my toolbox, be diligent with my self-care, and stay strong so I can make a difference every day, no matter how small. It’s my choice.
I’ve been in high-stress situations before where the chaos and toxicity suck all the energy out of you and leave you feeling depleted of energy. Each time I figured out what to do and made it to the other side – still standing. Here I am again. Toolbox out. A time-tested list of what has worked in the past and continues to work for me as long as I stay disciplined and committed.
Exercise
The first time I experienced the kind of stress that put my job on the line was when I was living in Washington, DC. I started getting up at 5AM and heading to the gym before the office. It wasn’t always easy, especially in the dead of winter when it’s dark and cold outside, but as soon as I started working out the better equipped I was for the day. The stronger my body, the stronger I felt.
Meditation
Sitting quietly and doing nothing more than focusing on my breath is perhaps one of the hardest things I have ever had to learn. And I am still not all that great at it. I am not the kind of person who can sit for an hour and not open her mouth to speak. But I can sit for ten minutes with my Calm app. I can take ten minutes to tap and open up my energy centers. I can focus on breathing fully as opposed to holding my breath and wondering what insane executive order will be signed next with the flourish of a giant Sharpie.
Creativity
That can look like a lot of different things for different people. For me, it is my writing. The second time I experienced the kind of job stress that threatens to tear your insides apart I joined a writing group. It’s where my novel, The Secrets They Kept was born. Today it is as simple as my Morning Pages or writing this Substack. For others, it can be music, art, or cooking. As long as it balances the outside forces you can’t control it helps you to focus on something you can control.
Community
Whether it’s the family you are born into or the one you’ve chosen, people make the difference. And yes, I still believe there are more good people out there than the media wants us to think. At a time when too many have decided their relationship with their mobile device is the most important one, being in the company of a living, breathing human who you can laugh, cry or just sit with is paramount.
Laughter
I don’t particularly care what it says about me that it’s easier to get the news highlights of the day from Stephen Colbert or Jimmy Kimmel than CNN but it does. They make me laugh and laughter breaks up the negative energy. There is science behind it. As awful as some of this stuff is to stomach, keeping a sense of humor is a better alternative than not having one.
Do one thing every day to make your voice heard
I am one of those people that likes to make lists. No matter how small the task, I get great pleasure from crossing off one that is completed. Make your list so you are heard. It can be as simple as calling your elected representatives at 202-224-3121 every single day and demanding they do something to stop the madness. If you post on social media, vet it and source it first so you are not contributing to the dearth of disinformation and misinformation. Get involved in local elections. Perhaps the easiest way to be heard right now is to extend kindness wherever you are. It’s simple, it doesn’t cost a penny and it is a step in the right direction.
This article was originally published on Does This Make Sense? on Substack. Subscribe for free.
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